I do not want to be a good wife. Instead I want to be a wife like the one described in Proverbs 31 "a wife of noble character". So first I had to ask myself what noble actually means. So I got out the dictionary and I looked it up. Noble is defined as "of superior nature". So no I do not want to be a good wife-- I want to be a superior wife. I realize that in order to be a superior wife that I need to change. I need to allow the Lord to refine me through his refiners fire. I need to let go of me and my own selfishness, then embrace all that my family needs and what my husband desires of me. I must die to myself so that Christ may live in and through me.
I follow a blog called Women Living Well run by Courtney Joseph. Currently she is doing a study on Proverbs 31 along with her friend Angela who runs a sister site along with Courtney called Good Morning Girls. Courtney has also written an e-book examining the Proverbs 31 woman that is a free download from her site. This book is one of the resources I am using for my Provers 31 woman study. In her e-book Courtney suggests some things that a wife of noble character does not do. Some of them that struck me were that she does not mope around or complain about housework. I was so busted on that one. I hate housework!!!! I am not good at it and I get overwhelmed when I think about it. However, I am a homemaker so housework is just a part of life. I need to stop complaining about it. The worst part for me is that when I start to complain about it that always leads me into feeling sorry for myself. Self-pity is never productive. Another thing that was suggested that hit me was that a wife of noble character is not bored, discontent, greedy, or selfish. I already mentioned that I realize I need to get rid of my selfishness. I also realized that I need to be more wise with my time as a wife of noble character does not waste time on frivolous things. Then another thing mentioned is that she does not criticize or disrespect her husband. I try so hard not to disrespect my husband-- if only this came easily to me, but it certainly does not. I will quote one of my college roommates when she said "I would say I put my foot in my mouth a lot, but that is obvious from my case of athletes tongue." I am making concerted efforts to really think about what I say before I say it, to check my motives, and check my heart attitude. Another thing mentioned is that a wife of noble character is not embarrassed by her husband or children. I am working to have children trained well enough to not be an embarrassment to me, but I do not always succeed (ask anyone who was in the grocery store the night my youngest son took the shopping cart and ran with it straight into the case of wine. Vic and I both tried to stop him, but Simeon ran faster than we did that night. Needless to say we left in embarrassment when every single bottle of wine in the display broke all over the floor.) Sometimes I will be embarrassed by my children, but hopefully as they get older that will become less and less. However, I hope to never have one of my children responsible for breaking a whole case of wine again.
As I look to am beginning this study I can tell that my attitudes, thought patterns, work ethic, what I say, and how I spend my time is all going to have to change. I am ready to cooperate with the Lord in this renovation.