Tuesday, May 29, 2012

It Is Not About Arriving Instead It Is About Becoming

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
Proverbs 31:11 

As I continue with my study on Proverbs 31 I am continually challenged to be a better wife, mom, and Christian.  It seems that my weaknesses seem to be challenged as I encounter concepts in this passage.  My prayer is that those weaknesses would be transformed into strengths.  This verse is no exception.  I was sharing my struggles over this verse with my husband over the weekend.  He had a lot of insight that helped me significantly.

When I left the work place one year ago on Thursday I was an emotional basket case.  I had spent so much time hearing the issues of others (I was a mental health/substance abuse therapist) that I did not deal with my own issues (which were plentiful from our years of struggle) and those emotions did not simply sit there waiting to be dealt with.  They had been eroding me on the inside.  So a year ago I was still suicidal.  I had been talking myself out of suicide every day for a very long time and I needed to heal.  I am no longer in that mental state.  I do not have ANY desire to commit suicide now-- ever.  I have healed significantly.  I will share more about this part of my life sometime in another post when I am ready to share more about it.  I am not ready for that just yet.  I still find that I am more sensitive than I used to be and sometimes still need to lean on my husband's emotional strength.  Somehow in my mind that made me someone with whom my husband could not have full confidence.  As I have studied this verse I envision that this husband would not have to be concerned with what is going on at home-- not even one thought about it because he was so confident that it was left in her capable hands.  After diving into a deeper study of the passage I still believe that this is what the passage indicates.  However, I was beating myself up over the fact that I still would get so emotional.  I shared with my husband how I was struggling with the fact that I still have to lean on him more than I would like in this area and that I believed it made him not be able to have full confidence in me.

He told me that this was a ridiculous notion.  He knows that things are continually improving in our home and he feels both comforted and at ease because I am at home with our children.  Further he told me how much he sees that our whole family benefits from me being home.  Then we talked about the progress made over the last year and I did not realize until that discussion how significant that progress actually is.  A year from now it will be even more.  Vic then reminded me that I am way too hard on myself and I do not allow enough room for grace when it comes to myself.  I do with others, but not myself.  He also pointed out that it is not reaching the destination to be concerned with-- it is the becoming.  I will never truly arrive at being perfectly like the ideal wife, but if I can become more like her over time then I have succeeded.  The words of my husband are true for you as well as for me.  As long as we are working toward becoming more like Christ then our husband's should be able to have full confidence in us because our hearts are in the right condition. 


  1. This is a beautiful post. I am participating in the Proverbs 31 study, as well. :-) Not sure how you happened to linkup with my recipe linky, since there isn't a recipe in this post, but I'm glad you did. I always enjoy reading other Christian mom's blogs. Have a blessed day!

  2. Charity, thank you for sharing! Some parts of life are so difficult but it is definately the journey that is life not the destination.

  3. Beautifully said! I'd love it if you'd link to the Proverbs 31 link up I have going with Amanda Pelser for our study. Here's the exact link:

    1. Kelli, I would be glad to link this on Monday. I was a little behind on my linkys this past week. I have been studying Proverbs 31 so as I post more I will try to link more as well.

  4. whoops - it's already closed for the week - we link up again on Monday morning - I love that you have Parental Rights as one of your favorite links!!!

  5. That was beautiful. So glad you are feeling better day by day. I take one day at a time. Thank you so much for sharing at The Gathering Spot last week. I think you are very couragous :)

  6. This is great - thanks for sharing!! Surfed on in from the domestically divine linkup and will become an avid follower. I love it when us young moms speak from our hearts, it is so encouraging!

    Patty from www.fanta4two.com