Remembering Days Gone By: August 3rd 2004

The four happiest days of my life were the day I accepted Christ, the day Vic and I got married, the day Caleb was born, and the day Simeon was born.  Caleb is having trouble going to sleep tonight even though it is raining hard outside (PTL this drought has been so bad and this is the first measurable rain in many months).  The reason he is having trouble going to sleep is because he is going to bed as a seven year old and waking up as an eight year old.  I will make his a special breakfast and give him his presents, then he will go to a playgroup and bring cupcakes.  He is going to have a friend spend the night in honor of his birthday at some point this month.  Our schedule has just been so packed lately. 

I was thinking back to the day he was born.  My labor was induced after a solid month of having measurable contractions every 3 minutes round the clock.  I have high risk pregnancies due to diabetes, hypertension, and a thyroid condition.  So Dr. Trabue and I discussed that due to my higher risk of infection he was not going to let me wait past 12 hours if I did not progress into labor.  I did not progress into labor.  So I was given a c-section.  I knew intuitively all along some how that I would have a c-section, but I am not sure why or how I knew that.  Caleb was born that evening weighing 7 pounds nine ounces at 20 inches long.  I do not remember the first time I held him as the anesthesia made me not coherent (a different medication was used when Simeon was born so I did not repeat this problem).  I do remember being very anxious and I would not go to sleep until I held Caleb.  He was the most beautiful, precious child I had ever seen however I did not feel the joy I had expected to feel.  I felt overwhelmed and scared.  I remember wanting to tell someone I felt that way, but I was embarrassed and ashamed that I felt that way.  After all wasn't a mother who just had a baby supposed to feel joyous.  I had hemorrhaged some and had lost a bit of blood, had never had surgery before, the anesthesia was still wearing off, and now I was a new mom.  It was normal to have some of the emotions I was feeling, however, I did not realize that yet.  I wish I had not kept silent, but I did.  Now I eventually the anesthesia wore off, I got strength back, healed from my incision, and adjusted to life as a mom.  Caleb has brought me more joy that I could have ever imagined.  I am so glad he was born on August 3, 2004 and I will always count that day as a happy day even if I had to get a grip on my overwhelmed feelings. 

Have a Happy Eighth Birthday Caleb!!!!!!  I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for your eighth year of life.