Feed Your Mind with Positive Life Building Messages

I stopped blogging-- in fact I was not at all sure I would return to this blog.  However, I decided that I enjoy blogging so I will continue.  The months of November and December in 2012 for me were some of my worst as far as internal struggles.  However, at the end of them I found some clarity and started 2013 much more focused and much more healed.  See in November all of a sudden every thing I did in life was attacked by someone close to me.  There was nothing I did that was right according to this person.  I left the conversation  feeling like I was a big mistake that God created.  However, that was a lie of the enemy and I know that because God does not make mistakes.  Instead as I began to finally sort through some issues that have plagued me for almost 10 years I realized that since God does not make mistakes then I am not a mistake.  Instead I am a beautiful creation.  He created me in HIS image, with dreams and plans for my life, and with good works he created in advance for me to do (the scripture reference to that is just not popping into my head right now).  I was put down for every thing I did and specifically made fun of for this blog-- not just a post, but the entire thing-- the idea of doing this.  I let it hit me too hard.  That was in November, but then in December I started to sort things out a little bit.  I have come to the conclusion that I do want to blog and I do want to do it more regularly-- the only thing that will stop me is if my family has higher needs and that will happen from time to time I can almost guarantee it.

However, I realized that I need a tougher skin so that I can take the criticism for what I say on something like a blog.  The Lord did not design us to keep to ourselves and not share out experiences.  Quite the contrary-- we are to share our struggles and insights so that we touch each others lives.  So I decided that this persons opinion does not really matter as to whether or not I blog.

Let me share a little bit of my December with you because that is when life started to turn around for me.  Every year in September a group of girls I went to college with get together, but this year all of us except one had obligations we could not get out of.  So we had to postpone the weekend until the first weekend in December.  I almost did not go because for me I was so down that I would tear up and fight back crying every other minute.  My husband made me go.  I am so glad that he did.  This year we met in my friend's home instead of in a hotel and my friend's mom ended up being there.  Her mom and I ended up talking for a while.  She and I have been keeping in touch ever since.  The Lord has used her to meet a need that has gone unmet for several years.  She gave me some good advice that weekend.  Some advice that I want to pass on to anyone else who might read this and is depressed.

She reminded me as we talked that I had been given a lot of negative messages-- many more negative than positive.  Most of those messages were from Christians, but they were not Biblical messages being given to me.  I heard so many negative messages that I even stopped hearing the positive ones.  So my friend recommended a prescription for me to deal with this issue.  She recommended that I bombard my mind with positive, Biblical messages until they were received.  That is what I have done.  My husband had been given someones old Ipod Touch and so he gave me his old Ipod Shuffle.  So I started downloading pod casts.  Whenever I am cooking, sewing, cleaning, etc I have an ear bud in one ear leaving the other to hear whatever my children are doing.  There has been a big difference in me and it has been noticed by not only me, but my family as well.  My thinking seems to be changing, I seem to be sorting out old wounds, and finding myself in Christ again.  There are many changes that seem to be happening here in our home that are leading to peace.  We have not had peace since 2003.  Caleb is calming down, Simeon is developing a spring in his step, Vic is finding courage to step out in new directions, and I am not so irritable as I once was.  We look forward to what great things are going to happen in 2013 as we continue to bombard our household with positive, Biblical messages.