Sometimes We Have To Let Go

I have been noticing a trend in our family.  We are not who we used to be and that is a good thing.  In myself I notice that I am not the confident woman I once was and that I really dislike.  At least I dislike it until I think about the fact that my life is not mine and that every thing that happens in my life has to go through the fingertips of God first.  So it has helped me to have a new perspective on my pain.  I realize that I need to stop grieving over the person I once was and embrace who I am right now at this time.  See God in his infinite wisdom decided that I needed to die to myself in many areas and become who he wanted me to be.  I did not realize I needed to make these changes but he did.  So I am learning to say Lord take me and help me to be what you want me to be.  Then praise the Lord for the trials and difficult circumstances as well as the much more enjoyable circumstances.  My life is not mine it is His and I want to cooperate with Him.

My husband is ever changing.  See after brain surgery his brain healed for the first time in him life and he is right now becoming himself.  It is hard sometimes because the flexibility this process requires sometimes bends me in directions I did not even see coming.  However, one of the things I like to watch blossom in him is the entrepreneurial spirit that seems to be developing.  We talked tonight and realize that the entrepreneurial spirit was always there, but his cognitive condition did not let this person come out.  Vic is becoming happier and more satisfied (at least that is what he tells me).  He does not believe he would be happy if he were not pursuing his dreams.  

As Vic and I walk through these changes in ourselves our marriage redefines.  We are in the process of becoming who the Lord wants us to be.  However, we have to die to ourselves to get there.